Tonight

It's been a long day. Dad has been in and out of sleep all day. He is resting right now but overall he is restless. When he is awake, he is hallucinating. He thinks he has been arrested for DUI and has been giving us phone numbers for bondsmen and lawyers all night. It's funny how people fall back on what is most familiar when they are dying. He knows law, that is what is comfortable to him right now. So, we have been making "phone calls" to try to get his "bond" set and get him "released". Please, God, get us home tomorrow. We need a change. We need to get settled somewhere besides the hospital. He is still pretty strong, He has been trying to get out of bed and walk away. But he is not strong enough to do it, thankfully. Anyway, just needed to get all this out. I'm not really sure how to process it all. The hospice nurse says we need to make sure to communicate to him that we are ready for him to go. She says our body language needs to reflect it as much as our words. I'm not sure I'm there yet. But I'm trying to be. I want it to be over for him. He has suffered long enough.